98% perspiration, 2% bonkersness

It seems that this working full time AND training for a long distance triathlon/marathon/half marathon/anything that involves running that I have (stupidly?) signed up for is a lot harder than I thought it was going to be.

This week I managed a little bike ride and a little run and that was it.  And felt bad and pathetic.  But, wonder of wonders, just as I was feeling my worsest and patheticist, I got a lovely e-mail from my mother. I got it half way through a hand of poker, and I was so flummoxed that my poker face confused absolutely everyone (including myself) and I won a huge pot.  Fistpump!

Anyway, so that I can remember in future years, I've included this e-mail (minus the completely bonkers bits - my mum is a bit "special").  I hope she doesn't mind.  Or ever find out!

Dear Issi 

I am so proud of you.    Every morning when I wake up and think of you I offer a prayer for you and I am 98% so proud of your strength and all of your achievements.  I feel so proud of you Only 2% is a thought that I hope you are not expecting too much of yourself.  Not pushing yourself too hard AND CERTAINLY NOT GOING ANYWHERE (DRESSED OR UNDRESSED) NEAR THE WINTER SEA.

You were so very ill when you were born we were lucky you did not die.  I used to pray so hard that you would not die in your childhood which was always a very strong possibility.  But look at you now!  A miracle!

I know you will get bad times and of course you will feel depressed and ill.  It is a horrible price for such a miracle that you are still with us.  And you know, you are so very loved.  I always so longed to cuddle you but I was scared because you were so fragile.  But now every day I close my eyes and imagine that I am cuddling you very tightly. and it is ok.

About the 98% As the day goes on I find the 2% seems to take over my brain and I worry so much that you are not spoiling yourself a little and you are not confident enough to realise what a wonderful, inspiring person you are.

Lots of love and prayers 

Mum xxxx