Blogging is good for you

I thought I'd had a bit of a disappointing year for both triathlon and diabetes mainly because I hadn't managed to achieve my 2014 goals.

Things I miserably failed at were;

a) Running.  Really, I suck at running.  The diabetes, asthma and injuries haven't really helped, but still, I super suck.  Like a broken Dyson.  Or is it a really good Dyson?

c) Completing an iron distance in a day (apparently a year doesn't count)

d) Blogging regularly

The lovely people from BOSH Tri asked us all what we'd managed to achieve this year, and my first reaction was "Bleurgh, nothing, I'm a failure".  Then I thought about it for a bit, and came up with a list of 3....

1) First marathon (so longest distance ever)

2) PB on a Half Iron Man

3) Female Masters Champion in Malta

I had a glass of wine and read my (bare-boned) blog and saw a couple more that I had forgotten about ...

4) PB 1,500m swim (Virgin London Triathlon)

5) PB 40k bike (same race!)

I had another glass of wine and asked CS.  He came up with a list of 3 more...

6) Longest distance swum (5k)

7) PB at Uncle Steve's Mid Sussex Sprint - the only official sprint that counts!

8) PB for 1 mile...set when running the Bacchus Half and the only reason I managed it was due to a perfect combination of gradient, being drunk, hungry and needing the loo at the same time.

My third glass of wine reminded me of what happened in the last couple of months

9) First iron distance bike

10) PB for 50 metres swim too!

Wow.  OK, not quite what I planned (except maybe the marathon and the iron distance bike), but much much more than I had ever hoped, expected, or even thought I could get away with lying about.

I'd only recorded 5 of those achievements in my bare-boned blog.  Being an old fart, I'm beginning to forget my own name***, let alone what I did in a year, so I promise myself that I will keep this blog more up-to-date.  Just for me.  And if anyone else finds it remotely funny/silly/useful/entertaining, then knock yourself out!

*** It doesn't help that I keep getting married and divorced, but still.....

2014 in review - "After all, tomorrow is another year"

A while back, I wrote a list of things I wanted to do in 2014 at the start of the year.  Now it's all over and done with, I thought I'd compare what I wanted to do with what actually happened.

Things I wanted to do in BLACK
What actually happened in RED

Brighton Half Marathon - 16 Feb 2014
Last year I finished and didn't die. This year I need to finish, not die, AND do it faster than last year, which means beating all the twos - 2:22.

This year I ran with my lovely wonderful younger sister.  AKA Sis.  She hadn't trained since the Bacchus Half in October 2013.  She was right up with me on target until about 10km, when, bless her, she lost a bit of confidence and a lot of legs.  I promised I would stay with her no matter what.  Unfortunately that meant that we stopped for an indeterminate amount of time, then ran FAST for another indeterminate amount of time, then rinse and repeat.  So, basically, my race was a 10k on-pace, followed by a "Surprise!" 11km of interval training.  I'm not sure who was more knackered at the end - her or me.  
Time - 2.31.
But, can I just say??  (Yes, I can!  It's my blinking blog!)  The following week, in training for the full marathon, I managed to smash my half marathon PB down to 2:15.  I then ran another couple of miles to the nearest loo, where I VD'd.  Apparently VD doesn't mean what it used to in the 90's.  No, it means Vomiting and Diarrhoea AT THE SAME TIME.  And it's common in long distance runners.  Sod that for a laugh.  Not that it's particularly easy to laugh when you're VD'ing. 

Brighton Marathon - 6 April 2014 
Never done a marathon before.  Probably never will again.

Yip.  That's not happening again.  I finished.  I didn't die.  My time began with a 4.  But it ended with a 90.  But finally, I've done it.  And I never have to do that ever again.  Unless I want to, of course....***

Uncle Steve's Sprint(ish) Triathlon - 8 Jun 2014
This will be my third time.  Which means I have to beat my PB of 1:36, or else Uncle Steve will beat me with a stick

DID IT!  Smashed my PB by a whole 3 minutes!  And got COWBELLS! (write up and insert link)

River Arun Iron Swim - 14 Jun 2014
This is a whole 3.8km swim.  All in one go.  Need to train really hard for that one.  Might have to swim a bit, and everything.

I NAILED it!  (By that I meant I didn't finish last, and, for fleeting seconds, actually enjoyed myself)  (write up and insert link)

BTRS Half Iron #1 - 26 Jul 2014
A nice practice one for the big one at the end of the year.  Just for "fun".

Well, that'll teach me for planning.  I accidentally did a different half in May instead.  And won it!

Virgin London Olympic Distance Triathlon - 3rd Aug 2014
The original, and still the worst.  I've done it twice before, both times I've been sick in my mouth during the swim, and both times the sick has tasted nicer than the water.  Not really bothered about the time, just love it when I overtake some of the lycra-clad speed-freaks with bikes more expensive than my house (if I had one) when going up unexpected hills.

Hmmmmm.  Well, I came, I chicked, I didn't puke.  Slightly slower than last year due to a ridiculous hypo a couple of hours before the start, but hey, I didn't give up, and I was even sensible for once.

Evans Brighton Sportive, featuring the Bastard Beacon from Hell - 31 Aug 2014
Never done it, but apparently it's 90 miles of hell.  The start is also around 10 miles from home, so if I don't get a lift from anyone, this will be the equivalent of an Iron Man bike leg.

I would have done this, honest guv, but I was ill.  Really.  I even went to A&E and they didn't laugh at me.  In fact they gave me morphine, and got me specialists, and were really nice to me and everything.  They also said "no cycling or running", and I believed them.  So moving swiftly on.......

Bacchus Half Marathon - 15 Sep 2014
Now that one really is for fun.  And wine.  And hog roast.  Aiming for a personal worst

Fun was had!  Wine was had!  We recorded a PW of 3 hours 25!  Dressed up as a crayon!  Or was it a traffic cone?  Rog hoast snuffledz! More wine drunkled!  Conkled out!  Sleepsies....
Update; it appears that I managed to break my fastest 1 mile record right at the end of the race.  Note to self - if you want to go fast, run when you're very drunk, hungry, and desperately need to go to the loo. (write up and insert link)

BTRS Half Iron #2 - 4 Oct 2014 
Last year I stopped for chips and a coffee in T2 and ran the slowest half marathon-plus-1k ever.  This year I want my time to start with a 6.  Even if it ends with Eleventy Twelve.

Oh blimey.  I can't count the number of times this plan changed.
Starting from the top - the date.  It was actually 27 Sep 2014, but that was the least of my problems.
Then the distance - it was actually an Iron distance, but with a "Surprise!" 5k swim at the start.  Other than that, spot on.
However, due to nasty medical issues and slight laziness, both cycling and running were off the agenda.  But as you know, one of the wonders/annoying things about triathlon is that there's always something you can do, whether you want to or not.  In my case my mantra was "Just keep swimming", and boy, didn't I? 5k NAILED! (write up and insert link)

IRONMAN BIKE!!! 6 Nov 2014
Big Daddy took me out and kept me company for 112 miles on the bike.  It only took 13 hours, but hey, I'm an Ironman!  (If transitions can span 8 months)

ST LUCIA!!!!!! - 22 Nov 2014
Completely unplanned.  Completely brilliant.  Completely doing it again next year! (write up and insert link)


*** Um.... I've signed up for next year's marathon, even though I don't want to.

I'm famous! Again!

I was ASKED (yes, actually ASKED!) to write a 550 word piece for 220Triathlon magazine on the St Lucia Triathlon experience.  I don't even talk in sentences that short, so it took a lot of editing by a couple of brilliant lovely people (Keith and Tim) to get it down to size

Here's the published version.... (Squeeeeee!!!!)

And here's my original wafflings

My name is Issi Doyle, I am a novice triathlete, and have been for seven years now. I have a long-suffering other-half, and so far this year I've made him travel to Ireland, Malta and Burgess Hill all in the name of triathlon.

In order to make amends I suggested a nice relaxing Caribbean holiday at the end of the triathlon season.  I even suggested a specific location (St Lucia, as close to Pigeon Island as possible) and date (must include 22nd November 2014).

He gave me one of his long looks, smiled right through me, and said “Oh alright then, but this time promise me you won’t forget your race-belt like you did in Ireland.  Or your bike – remember Malta?”  How could I forget?  No, really, how could I forget MY BIKE?

So, what attracted me to the St Lucia triathlon?  Was it the chance to meet one of my all-time heroes, Daley Thompson?  Or to learn to run faster from Steve Cram?  Or the rum punch? I’ll be honest, it was all three.

Keeping to the theme of three, there were three distances to choose from;

   The Dagger  – 250m swim, 6.6km bike, 2.5k run
   The Pistol  – 750m swim, 13.2km bike, 5k run
   The Cutlass -  1,500m swim, 26.4km bike, 10k run

I chose the Pistol as it was closest to my favourite distance (sprint), although I suspected that I wouldn't be doing much of that sprinting malarkey, especially after having drunk my own body weight in rum punch in the three days building up to the main event.

There were also three mornings of masterclasses during the build-up, which were free to all race entrants (and long-suffering other-halves if they could get up in time).  And not just any masterclasses – these were from people who are either Olympians or gorgeous, or in one very notable case both.  Steve Cram and Daley Thompson gave us land-based advice, and Jamie Peterkin - google him girls (and boys), you won’t be disappointed – provided the swimming tips.

But before you could say “pass the rum punch” a few thousand times, race day dawned.

The action started at 7.30am with the Daggers.  Us Pistols started at 7.50, closely followed by the Cutlasses (and lads) at 8.00.

The swim was in the calm warm waters of Rodney Bay.  Let me repeat a couple of those words.  Calm.  Warm.  It was like stepping into a relaxing bath, and it was so nice that I didn’t want to get out.  Unfortunately you have to otherwise it’s called a “swim” not a “triathlon”.  I’m embarassed to admit that I got distracted by a shoal of fish that sent me off towards Martinique, and therefore swam a personal worst.

Me rushing out of the water like my life depended on it

The bike distance was a bit shorter than your average triathlon. The organisers said this was because the course was very technical and hilly.  They weren't wrong – the sharp turns, potholes, speed bumps and wandering American tourists contributed to the technicality.  And yes there were hills, although I've definitely seen worse in my travels. I’m embarassed to admit that I got distracted half way through the bike course by photographers, and therefore biked a personal worst.

Me being distracted by photographers

Daley Thomson telling me to "Get a bleeding move on!" when I stopped for yet another photo

The run course was flat and mostly gorgeous.  It was staffed by a great bunch of volunteers who cheered and whooped and high-fived everyone who ran past them.  I took up their offer of a good hose-down, which was a lot nicer than it sounds, I promise.  I’m embarassed to admit that I got distracted half way through the run course by a litter of extremely cute stray puppies, and therefore ran a personal worst. (No photographic proof - you're just going to have to believe me)

"I'm so hungry, I could eat a human..."

I crossed the finish line grinning from ear to there, knowing that although I’d had my “worst” race ever, I’d also had my best “race” ever.  And reader, I finished first in my age group!

OK, I was the ONLY person in my age group.

My long-suffering other-half has just suggested a nice relaxing Caribbean holiday at the end of next season.  He even suggested a specific location (St Lucia, as close to Pigeon Island as possible) and date (must include 21st November 2015)....