Ow. Ow ow ow ow ow.
That's not very helpful, is it?
OK, let's set a bit of a background here. I'm a novice triathlete, and have been for the last six years or so. I managed to finish my first half iron distance last year, but it took me almost 8 hours, although I did stop for a nice sit down, a cup of coffee and bowl of chips in T2. Sad. True.
Someone then said to me "Oh, you should do a marathon. If you can do a half-iron (even if you insist on stopping for a nice sit down and chips), then you'll find running a marathon so much easier". If I could remember who that person was, I would hit them over the head very hard with an empty bowl (that used to have chips in it), because, kids, it's simply NOT TRUE.
I know this without even having completed a marathon. Because the Worthing 20 is the furthest I've ever run in one go before (although technically you can't call what I did "running"). That was worse than a half-iron distance tri BY FAR.
Why was this?
Well, first of all, I broke the first Commandment of Triathlon - "DO NOT CHANGE ANYTHING ON RACE DAY". Yup. I ditched my Marks & Sparks pants and socks in favour of specialist (ie expensive) "anti-chafing" pants, and "anti-blistering" socks that I'd bought at the Triathlon Show the week earlier. Guess what I got half-way through the race? I'll give you a clue - it wasn't a new 10 mile PB. Nope, it was a foot-full of blisters, and, well, I won't go into details on the chafing (but if you e-mail me, I'll send you photos)
Secondly, it was a really hot day and I had far too many layers on. I started off the race thinking "Ooooh, I might need a wee", but by mile 5 I was sweating my own urine. TMI? It gets worse.
Thirdly, the course itself is challenging. Not so much physically (it's 4 laps of 5 miles, nice and flat), but mentally. I was lapped by the leader before I finished my first circuit, and watched the same guy finish before I was even half-way through.
Also, CS had firmly camped himself (and the car with its boot open, all invitingly) at mile 1, which also meant mile 6, 11 and 16 too. It was great to see him the first time. Second time, meh. Third time was a little challenging, but by the fourth time, at mile 16, I ran into his arms, begged him to make the pain go away, attempted to get into the boot of the car, and tried to show him all my chafing right there and then.
Luckily he is a wiser person than I will ever be, and he sent me back on the road with a cheery "You can do it!". I felt so guilty that I carried on running, at least until he couldn't see me any more. Then I slowed down to a pathetic zombie-shuffle. I tried to boost myself with a Chocolate Outrage Gu gel, but even that wasn't working.
Then I got overtaken. By speed-walkers about 20 years older than me. Except they weren't fast, so technically they were, um, walkers. Who were about 20 years older than me. As I watched them disappear over the horizon, I thought bad things. Very bad things. Then something strange happened - a cog whirred, a switch switched, and a penny dropped. I realised that I couldn't possibly admit to anyone (including myself) that I was overtaken by OAP walkers in a running race. So I got back on that horse (metaphorically at least, though what I would have given for a horse at that point would put Richard III to shame). And I ran what was left of my heart out to catch up with them.
And, bless them to bits, they were lovely. They were happily walking and chatting and doing their best to encourage me, whilst I was huffing, puffing, effing and blinding, and, yes, running to keep up with them. Then suddenly it got better. The three of us started overtaking some other people. And then, before you could say "Call that a medal? That's just a glorified coin!" several thousand times, we were there, stumbling across the finish line and demanding our goody bags (there weren't any).
It then took me another half an hour to get back to the car, and another two days before I could stand up again. I'm still chafing, and have video evidence to prove it.
But, please don't let my experience and bad underwear choice put you off. The race itself is fast, flat and friendly, very well marshalled, and organised by an incredibly friendly bunch of people. It's a great "warm-up" for a spring Marathon if you know what you're doing, and it's only just down the road from Brighton.
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| Me, finishing with the wonderful speed-walkers who got me through those last horrible miles |
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| Me, technically finishing AHEAD of the wonderful speed-walkers (clock time on the left, chip time on the right) |
